Everyone knows Gustav is bearing down on Louisiana again. If you’re coming to yeroc for your breaking news you’re in trouble. But I do have some breaking news for residents of New Orleans: you pretty much live underwater already.

I’m not saying I don’t have love for the Big Easy. It’s a great city filled with wonderful culture and tradition and history. Or whatever. But when you get down to brass tacks, you can’t live there. What is it going to take? You can’t live UNDERWATER where hurricanes hit. That’s like living in a box of plywood on active volcano. Seriously. Some places are uninhabitable. For those who don’t know, here’s a graphical cross section of New Orleans’ geography:

As you can basically see here, there’s big walls keeping the water out. If water rises for any reason, hurricane, rain… global warming? you’re screwed. You’re underwater, just without water. I’m sorry to be cynical in this tough time, but you have to give up on this city. Give it back to France or whoever. Why pour billions and billions into fixing this one city over and over thats built in a stupid place? Move New Orleans. How about that? Move that shit to Kansas. You can still have your beads and tits and what not, just don’t do it IN THE FUCKING OCEAN.

I think the desertion of New Orleans will probably happen anyway, in some form. I just don’t think people are going to keep rebuilding and keep going through this shit. I know I wouldn’t. Gustav, you can have the shit. It’s all yours.

Maybe my tune would be different if it were Savannah underwater (which there’s a good chance of with Hanna headed this way) but still. Let cooler heads prevail.

Save New Orleans: give it up.